Are you ever suspicious of your own happiness? As if some days you just have the feeling that everything is feeling so right and awesome in the world, that something must be wrong? Almost as if you aren’t “supposed to” feel so happy and free?
Don’t get me wrong, I would consider myself a generally happy and grateful person. But lately, I have had some days I would definitely rank as a 10 in terms of joy and happiness, and for no apparent reason. I didn’t have anything spectacular or celebratory happen. I didn’t win the lottery (though I hear that doesn’t always = happy). I haven’t done anything different or noteworthy. I mean, for all intents and purposes, I’ve simply been having your run-of-the-mill last couple of days. But man, oh man, am I happy unlike any happy I have felt in a long, long time. It’s a joyful happy, and it’s difficult to wrap my head around. It’s almost euphoric, and I don’t know why. (Ugh, there’s the over-analyzer in me showing up again!)
This joyful happiness I have isn’t all unicorns and puppies, you understand? I’m not skipping around or annoyingly chipper or anything of that nature. (Ok, I might skip once in a while, because my toddler thinks it’s funny and I am her court jester, after all.) But something feels different. Something inside of me just feels a happiness and joy I haven’t felt in a long, long time. It’s almost as if some kind of weight has been lifted from me and I don’t know why, nor can I identify what it is. So here’s what I have to say about it . . .
Dear Genuine Happiness:
I’m going to stop being so suspicious. Thank you for allowing me the grace of not-so-happy times so that I may recognize you. I am making a conscious decision to embrace you. I will not question why you are here unannounced. Instead, I will welcome you. I’m so grateful you are here. Sometimes, in the course of daily life, I forget what you look like. Thank you for showing up to remind me. Thank you for coming, just because. I hope you’ll take off your shoes and stay a while.
No Longer Suspicious (aka, Simply Happy)